If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize