the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize