It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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