"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
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He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
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Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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