they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
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