I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
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