tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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