i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
So vagazzling was a success
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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