I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize