Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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