He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
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..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
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No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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