Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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