Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize