five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
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Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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