just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
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It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
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Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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