garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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