i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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