He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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