I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize