i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
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