If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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