so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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