I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
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I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
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So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize