I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize