i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize