she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
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In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
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You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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