Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
No I am not eating basil off your cock
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I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
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