Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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