I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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