Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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