saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
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i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
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the liver wants what the liver wants
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize