We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize