Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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