When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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