after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize