just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize