it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize