Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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