I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
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I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
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I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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