thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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