I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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