guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
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Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
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You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
whose parrot is this?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize