you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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