is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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