I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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