isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
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first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
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What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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