my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize