I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
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I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
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I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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