Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
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She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
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I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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