So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Go christen that room with your naked body.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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